Dear diary: it’s been a week 

Last Friday Jordan called me saying he wanted to talk to me again. He’s sorry and he’s ready to try to be with me. He had said he missed me and always thinking of me and can’t stand not talking to me . He realized that we need to work together so he can be okay and find love with us again. I know he cares about me. Sorry my thoughts are all over the place . Getting to be with him this past week has been nice. I missed him so much and I’m feeling better of course,but still it’s iffy and I still fell sad. Seeing him, I can tell he had changed, when I look at him I can tell he’s so sad and broken but I am too. He’s a whole different person. His emotion as are shut down , one day He likes me and the next it’s nothing. This time is a little different, at least I hear with him everyday . Last time he would come back and next day disappear. I hope he’s being real with me. I have been so patient, I guess sometimes loves got to be like that . These are his words, “I still need your time and love to grow back with you.” And I’m finally understanding what it means. He texts me everyday but I know some of the time he won’t text me back on purpose like he’s testing me. Anyway I don’t know what he thinks, just need to give him space sometimes . I feel like he just does whatever he wants with me and I’m just here…… like he randomly texts me in the middle of the night or comes over at 3 in the morning . Like what the heck…. like what about what I want or feel ??? He freaked out the other night and blew up my phone because I feel asleep, but before that he saw my snap story where I had went out to eat. I don’t need to tell him what I’m doing, he didn’t ask, it’s not like he tells me when he’s gonna text me. Most of the time I don’t hear from him until the end of the day. My rule is not to text him unless he does. I have been really good, Not freaking out on him so far like I use too. I did agree to this kind of relationship, just got to give him space and time. Let’s see how long I can do this for. I just hope one day he’ll love me again like he use too or even love me more. Am I crazy? 


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