Dear diary: finally saw him

Getting to see Jordan yesterday made me feel a little better. It was tough though. I was so nervous waiting and was pacing all day. We talk for a bit, I told him how I felt and layed everything out there. He told me he missed me a lot and he read my note everyday. He hasn’t really thought through about what to do with our relationship, but he wants to rebuild it. Basically starting over a little, taking it easy and slow and go on dates. I didn’t expect everything to go back to normal. We both need to rebuild our trust. He needs to figure if I’m really the person I’m saying and I need to know if he really wants to be with me. I’m still scared. I need to step up my game and try really hard and not screw up again. I don’t want to lose him again. What I went through for a few days was horrible! I don’t even want to remember it . All this is going to be tough, we both need to just try and be normal and take it day by day . It’s crazy how things happen and end up, last year it was a beginning of an amazing relationship. Now we are starting over and it’s not going to be easy, but I love him so much and I’m going to be there for him to make this happen. 

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