Dear diary: it has been too long!

I apologize to my reader’s, sorry I haven’t blogged in a while. Sometimes life gets too crazy busy. Life has been less stressful since school is over for now, but I’ve been working 50 hours a week so I’m pretty exhausted. Going on winter break for a month just means working full time, but I’m doing great! I’ve been trying to go to the gym on a daily basis…..and it’s kind of working. It’s hard to gym when you work from 9am-7pm, after a long 10 hour work day, I just want to go home and lay down! Other than working, the Holiday’s has been amazing, every year gets better and better and I love being with my family. I am so grateful! And I feel very blessed! I am very happy.

Anyway, Jordan and I are very happy together and I’m enjoying my month break off even though I’m working a lot, but I need to. I’m trying to work as much as I can so I can treat my dad when he’s back home for a week! Also, before I go back to school, Jordan and I are taking a mini vacation for his birthday, so that’ll be nice.

I know this isn’t the best blog……it’s pretty boring actually, but I will go into more details soon. Thank you. I realy just wanted to say that I’m doing great.

Dear diary: Be you and hope it’s good enough for everyone who cares about you

Sometimes I’m so disappointed in myself. This semester I started out so positive and strong. I was taking five classes and now I’m down to three. I feel so depressed sometimes. I really want and need to pass my classes and graduate school. My mom said to me the other day, “Being a teacher is the easiest major and you can’t even do it….” And you know, she is kind of right. My mom can be supportive but I don’t think she knows how. She’s always saying stuff, but I try not to let it bother me but obviously it did and I’ve been thinking about it. She is right though, being a nurse is harder than becoming a teacher….I’m just saying as an example. If I don’t become anything, then what. I want to be something. I don’t want to be just Nina…. I had told my friend Blake about my problems and he had said to me, “There is more to life than school, teaching is just a job and it doesn’t define you.” I agree, but how I grew up was different. I went to school because I felt like I had to and becasue my parents said you have to go. I went to college not knowing that school was that important in life. I eventually figured out why school is important. Basically, to have a successful life, you need to go to school and get educated and to have a better future. That’s what parents and adults tell you throughout your life. That’s why I go, but I also go is becasue I’ve always thought about becoming a  teacher so I don’t want to give up yet until I know deep down inside me that teaching may not be it. I had said and wrote one time that I want to be someone who my siblings are proud of. Blake said, “Be that person and the rest will come.” But to me, that isn’t good enough. It’s hard to overcome your fears and thoughts like these. I know and will try harder everyday to overcome negatives thoughts and feelings. I’m just taking it one day at a time, it’s all I can do and try my best. Sometimes I wish I can start over, but it is what it is. There is always another chance. I am ready for the next semester and I will try harder. This week is finals week and I’m prayer everyday that I will pass these three classes.

(Thank you Blake for all your words of wisdom. He always knows what to say)