Dear diary: Feeling better

I am dropping a class in school at the moment. Sometimes I feel like a failure, but I really tried. I guess not hard enough so they say. I will keep on going to school though and moving forward. I feel better now that I’m making this decision.

So far things has been going well, just taking it one at a time and enjoy whatever fun I can. Today is a sick day, I’m in bed resting. I guess no Apple Hill this year, (so sad) but I’m over it. I just really wanted to go somewhere this fall, but there’s always other places and maybe next year. It had been freezing here in Sacramento, you can’t really do much. Staying home and watching television is the best.

I went to get my ultrasound done a few days ago for my breast and they didn’t see anything, but they said I still need to get regular check ups just in case. Its just annoying because I don’t know why I have a lump. I didn’t have it before. I’m not too worried, but what if something develops later on in the future. Just another thing to worry about on my list….yay….

Jordan and I have been doing really good as usual, no complaints here šŸ™‚ We are official now FYI. So weird to have a boyfriend and call him mine or my boyfriend. We actually see each other a lot even though we are so busy, he manages to see me everyday! I haven’t felt so wanted in a long time. Someone actually really likes and wants to be with me and spend time with me and cares for me. I’m trying to get use to all this. I’m been independent for years and I hate sharing lol. I like to sleep alone, I like to eat my own food, I like to do whatever I want, I like to have my own time, and be alone most of the time. Now it’s time to compromise. I love being with him though. I almost feel like I love him, this past month an a half is more than I ever felt with anyone. I told him I am 100% in with him and he said the same. I never really said this to anyone, but I do see myself with him and I have no doubts with him so it just feels weird that I feel 100% with someone and it actually feels right for the first time. This morning he told me he loves me and……………….. THE END.

P.S. I am who I am and I will always be an independent person forever. I will always need that alone time or “Autumn time” no matter what.

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