Dear diary: So overwhelmed

Things have been great with Jordan and I. He’s pretty much amazing! I have no doubt in what’s going on with me.

So, school has been ridiculous. I just finished my Geography midterm and it wasn’t so bad. I studied last night until 1 am and took a 2 hour nap and woke up at 3 am to get ready and studied some more. I have never done that before so hopefully it was worth it. I’m literally a zombie today, hopefully not for long. I just hope I passed. School has been so overwhelming, sometimes I feel like I can’t do it anymore. What if being a teacher isn’t for me. I feel like I got this far, I can’t quit now…..I keep telling myself, “Just do it!” and “Just take it one day at a time.” It’s so hard though. What if I fail? Then what? But it’s like I have no choice, I just have to do what I can. Next week, I have a midterm in History class, I know I’m going to fail that even though I’m going to study. I know it sounds like I’m being negative, but I’m not. Knowing that I’m going to fail is scary. I have failed so many classes and tests in my life and failing again is not fun.The feeling is depressing but in the end, I just have to take it, I just got to do it. Nothing more. I’m just really tired, if I lay down I will pass out. So I’m always trying to be productive 24/7. School is too much right now, sometimes I don’t even know where to begin, my mind is a mess! I can’t wait for this week to be over. There’s literally too many things to do in such little time. Sometimes I don’t know how single mom’s do it. I have a friend, she goes to school, works, and has a kid. I just have myself, school, and work and I can’t even catch a breath.

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