Dear Diary: Feeling Forgotten

Been feeling uneasy. One minute I’m great, and the next I’m feeling forgotten. Hoping and wishing Mitchell would text me again. I just want to talk to him, there’s always this feeling that I’ve always had: “Could we have something more?  I think this could’ve worked out”.   But then it didn’t work out the first or second time because of him. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I’m always going to wonder, but I know that when time goes by, the feelings and thoughts will fade. When he had text me that night, he was being friendly and acted like nothing had happen. The feeling was very casual and mutual. I’m always tempted to text him but I CAN NOT do that! Why did he do that? Is there going to be anything more? Or is this it? I’m prepared for whatever happens, if he tries to talk to me soon then I be straight forward with him and say, “What is it that you want or need? You can’t just randomly talk to me like nothing happened, we are not dating anymore nor are we friends.” I need answers. If he texts me later on, in a month or so, I will ask him the same question but be very angry and upset. I feel like he has forgotten about me by now. I hate that feeling, it’s the feeling of abandonment.

Jordan had texted me pretty late the over the weekend, it was about 12 am and I was getting ready to go home from a family party. He was pretty much bored and wanted to hangout out but I said I’m going to bed. I love my sleep. I am not your booty call ok? So he obviously is only texting me because he’s bored…cool.

The weekend always seems so short! It’s my only day off and I just want to sleep, but I have like a million things to do. Sometimes I need a break but I think being busy is good for me; I feel sane. If I didn’t have anything to do, I would feel useless and go crazy.

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